Quotes
Five Worse Things Inmates Could Do Behind Bars Than Learn to Make Biners:
5. Learn to make Explosives
4. Maintain the Database of those in Witness Protection Program
3. Learn the trade of Locksmithing
2. Serve as 911 Operators
1. Become Sperm Donors
A whirlwind of snapshots of my climbs with Alex.
'Yes, this is perfectly normal.' After getting one rap rope stuck above and one stuck below us on Solar Slab in Red Rocks as it started snowing and getting dark.
'Thank god, you don't know enough about climbing yet to be scared.' When we had to do a 60-foot unprotectable traverse on a layer of moss and dead pine needles in complete darkness in attempt to find the least dead rap tree in Looking Glass, North Carolina.
'Yes, it is 8 am and we are going to do a 1 pitch climb, but bring your headlamp just in case.' I have needed it every single time we have climbed together. I learned my lesson after the above experience.
'You'll thank me later.' After somehow turning an easy 1-pitch climb into at least 6 in Oklahoma.
'I want to make sure you get your moneys worth.' By giving me the pleasure of bushwhacking the most difficult way to the base of every single climb.
The slideshow goes on and on and on. I was suddenly horrified. Who have I been climbing with and what 'bad habits' have I been taught? Other than how to wear my helmet at a jaunty angle.
I can't crank if it has a handle on it.
Seems like rc.com has a lower asshole to user ratio but a much, much, much higher dipshit to user ratio :) It then follows that the dipshit to asshole ratio is out of control.
There are too many bolts by Yosemite standards; but let's respect the FA. If we don't remove bolts from tightly bolted routes, it'll be easier to defend the runouts on other classics from future parties who will want to add bolts.
Nevertheless, it's worth hanging on in here to catch the meaningful discussions we occasionally have about stoves, pies, the importance of failure and keeping a stiff upper lip and why no-one posts here any more. Once in a while some headstrong fool posts about climbing they've done, and we all seek to reassure ourselves that what they did wasn't that hard really, we would have done it ourselves if we hadn't (or had) been old, infirm and unfit and if we did it once ourselves many years ago it was probably a mistake and we should seek to discourage others from doing the same.
I wish this were one of those web-based forums so I could put a little gremlin with question marks over his head, or perhaps rolling eyes or both. However, since this is rec.climbing I will just reply with, "WTF?"
Beware the "boulder start" .
Igor, one as you know that real man need not pad. Pad is for woman and only man who have not the ball.
unfortunately, democracies can't give the people what they want, but just a list of persons to pick from.
Outside the Taco Bell a beautiful golden-haired woman in the driver's seat of a beautiful silver sports car turned her head, saw us, and put her hand up to brush her hair back. My partner said, "You know what that means, don't you?" I pretended I did.
Getting out of this required a 5.11 Beached Whale move combined with a Bloody Scream, something they never teach in the gym.
Sure, some people pack more crap than others, but going dumb and naked isn't what "Fast and light" is about either.
Access to a free meal card will make you feel like a God, and as each caf meal is big enough to feed two, you can have another person think you're a God also. Bring tupperware into the buffet and you can start your own religion.
Another problem with the word 'engram' is that, like all jargon, it leaves the incurious with the impression that they know something they don't.
Wow, I have rec.climbing age and rc.com experience. That can't be a good thing.
I'm an expert at torturing people on different levels of the Yosemite Crack Circuit. The key to torture is don't kill the victim all at once!
You never stand so tall as when you've kicked the guy standing next to you in the sack, and he's on his knees in pain. In short, it's all relative.
Hill taught me mucho years ago and aside from being infatuated with her it turned me into a climber ... but taking a gurl out climbing date-wise? Kinda like taking her out surfing...she spends a lot of time on the beach and you never see her again.
Men's harness come with a set of nads built in, which can come in handy on a scary lead.
robDotCalm wrote:
> what most male climbers want from their female
> partners is one thing: a good belay.
From above.
"That was amazing! Five lead changes to climb 40 feet of rock! How can they say this route doesn't look good? This was MORE than a route-- this was an EXPERIENCE!"
Sit Down Starts SUCK! No self respecting climber is going to make a habit of sitting on her ass to go climbing.
Hey Brother KN
You're not fat Dude, you're just bomber!
The argument suggests that additional weight carries best on the climber, distributed naturally in sebaceous deposits by selective overgrazing. On the climber's body, body fat rides close to the center of gravity, moving in consonance with each effort, instead of dangling and swinging with each move, like some drilled out 11 hexcentric. This "RC corollary" <tm> thus states that:
"A pound on the rack is worth five in the ass."
Climbers are urged to trim the rack first, and continue to enjoy quality dining.
The CDK [Canadian Death Knot] is typically christened with a blast of pot smoke, making it one of the most confusing knots to tie.
Best Flames
Wow, talk about ascending Mt Uberstupid...
>This would be a nicer newsgroup for everyone
>if these two went somewhere else.
Gravity would be softer were its acceleration not as fast.
Well, you are only off by a factor of 6, big deal. 1 in 5 or 1 in 30, where is the difference for a physicist?
I apologise for attributing more intelligence to you than I should have done.
In addition to provoking feelings of illness, your sophomoric homophobia seems to be having a few other effects.
1) It caused you to cruelly accuse some queers you don't even know of being french.
2) It made you retreat without telling the climbers to pack out their trash.
3) It seems to be affecting your spelling and punctuation.
Good Answers to Bad Questions
>i'm going on holiday to france has anyone ever done any rock
>climbing there and can they suggest good climbs
could you give us more information like where in france you're going and when and what kind of climbing you're looking for and and at what level whether you have done any research yourself or are just bugging us and anyway why should we take the time to help you when you can't be bothered to even use any punctuation or provide basic information much less actually do any leg work yourself so I am going to guess that you belong in a gym try murmur in paris but just boulder because i have friends there and i would rather you not belay them
Best Troll
PLEASE - I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LOG OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND SELL ALL OF YOUR "CLIP DRAWS", YOUR CLIMBING "SLIPPERS", YOUR 9.2MM ROPE AND FIND SOME THREAD AND NEEDLE AND LEARN TO KNIT LIKE A LADY. LEAVE THE MAN FUN TO THE MAN.
Best Thread
Best Trip Reports
The Stall by Todd
Vegas Vignettes by Alex Chiang
The Perverted Diamond (Kor's Door & Pervetical Sanctuary) by JSJ
Recollections of the First Free Ascent of the Left Side of the Hourglass by Peter Haan
Jules Verne by JSJ
Long Quotes
Trad Eye for the Bolt Clipper by Jason Liebgott
re: The REVOLUTION and StairMasters by Martin
Anything written by ^,,^ [akc: dogboy]
Reality Check
Black Fly beta
buying EB shoes
Climbing shop staff
Tim Stich wrote:
> So is your drinking contest to be conducted on the honor system in
> different locations, Jason? Or perhaps it could be done online in a
> chat room setting, with live webcams even. Now there's a good reason
> to buy one of those things.
good question Tim, though I'm not going to answer it. I'm going to answer the question I asked myself (in my head) instead.
First I thought it would be best to measure out the beverages into seperate nalgenes, so we could measure correctly. But alas, if my opponent weighs 97 pounds or 210 pounds then I have either a significant advantage or disadvantage. So I purchased a breath-a-lizer and a stomach pump (for safety). The way to victory is the first person to break a .5 blood alkeehaul percentage level.
So then the real problems arise... some of the contestants might have skills that prove more important than a simple percentage point. Like, for example, if you streak through camp or do an impromptu fire walking ritual. Maybe you punch an obnoxious camper in the face. See, then you automatically win.
So then to get specific, you win if:
A. You're drunk enough to be naked and punching out a camper.
B. You are lying face down in hot coals.
3. You hit .5
E. all of the above
.... and of course you have to able to get up at 4:30am so as to be first in line for a quick jaunt up the Bachar-Yerian.
Last modified 2004-February-28